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| The elders of the Council inspect the hedge |
I refer today to the ancient writings in the year of our lord of the manor of Bishton 2008, verily it was set down into the laws passed in the ancient parish of colwych.
Sir Barry of Birt did with great wailing and gnashing of teeth set out to the assembled council of elders the grave matter of the Hedge at mill lane.
The hedge had grown outwards not inwards, and verily it pushed the prams and the pedestrian ancient folk into the path of the carriages and cow herders. It was not good.
The goodly council of elders sent forth a chattle to view the road carnage wrought by this vicious hedge, they looked upon it in horror, and ran all the way back to the safe walls of the Parish Fortress.
It is true said the chattle, the hedge doth jut out in an unseemly manner, (although it is very nicely kept he added, sadly this was stricken from the record, but this account was written in the old tablets of Wolseley for posterity)
The Council of elders sat in courtly session, with grim countenance, and resolved to enforce its will on the owner of the offending hedge, verily they voted to send an army to quash this verdant rebellion in the community.
Elder after elder went to "Tut" at the hedge, while the owners sayeth unto them "Bugger off" I'm not paying for it. Years passed with no resolution to the 8 year war of attrition.
Sat in their fortress the council of elders sent for Sir Len of Bloomer the Prophet of Old Staffs, who on entering the chamber fell flat on his face, "shit and buggeration" did I just trip over a poor person?? no? well theres no money, nor will there be for ever and ever amen.
The council of elders sent for Sir Stuart of Learoyd, but he was too busy in Brockton to make the long journey so in his stead he sent forth the Alan Perkinton of the small Haywood, which is like little Hampton but not as nice, who in the wise way of the great folk, he set down onto the parchment of the lordly council of fafford, "not our job sir"
At last came the cry from the herald of the council, I have a cunning plan, if we write it down that we have resolved to do the said matter everyone will believe it has been, because verily it is written so. Verily one of the wise elders said "you bloody idiot they can still see the hedge!!" "oh yeh" said the herald.
Then the Lords of Miller came to build a big carbuncle on the communities Ring, well next to it actually. Those of the Lordly estate took great umbridge at the ancient hedge obscuring the view of their large pointy carbuncle next to their ring, and they wrested its edges from the road, giving it a mighty trim. The Lords had trimmed their bush very well, it was good.
Sadly the Elders of the Council who had a month off from the war didn't think to ask the Lords of Miller to help them trim their bush in Mill Lane, so there its sits untrimmed to this day.
Here endeth the story of the untrimmed bush, chapter 9 of the book of procrastination, written by Arnold Baker, and interpreted by all un-sundry to no avail.
lol, very funny, can't believe that's been going on since 2008!!!
ReplyDeleteOctober 2008, you can check in the mins of the council meetings
ReplyDeleteMost recently it hit the mins early this year.....still waiting
ReplyDeleteyes that's 2016, it must be the longest running un resolved...... resolved item..... ever
ReplyDeleteisn't it the owners responsibility to trim the hedge?
ReplyDeleteIn the land of "Lets make it a complicated as possible" the highways may have a say, the borough Council planning department may have a say, the ice cream mans aunty who lives on Milford Common may have a say. Also lets hold things up by failing completely to get a company to do the job, you see if you only look under the first stone you come to you are not likely to find a company to do the job. Advertising in the Parish Window won't do it either. There are literally hundreds of companies capable of trimming or laying a hedge, one on a road at that, ho hum we will just have to wait another 8 years and maybe then we may have a solution.
ReplyDeleteor you could get some loppers and some timber just get on with it, just like any other DIY job, millions of people have a boundary hedge against a road, they all manage to get the annual job done....lol its a very well kept hedge that means the owners also manage to trim the hedge in the road without the whole of Staffordshire coming to a halt.
ReplyDeleteit is sometimes very awkward walking down that road, I go to the farm shop often and sometimes you take your life into your hands, its not the hedge as much as walking through the tunel with your shopping
ReplyDeletewhy is this still not done after so long?
ReplyDeletethe answer is simple, other pet projects get in the way, so it comes off the radar of the council and gets completely forgotten, as they don't have a procedure to log what they are proposing to do with a list of what has been done. Sending a letter does not resolve the matter it merely postpones it over and over again.
ReplyDelete